Day 6: "You Can't Keep a Good Bat Down"

Hey, batloggers! (Is that what I called you last time?  I'm not sure.)

Well, I've been battling a Mr. Freeze level cold for that last couple of days, so that kept me from my scheduled workout yesterday.  We're back at it today, thought!  I am also aware that we missed our weekly Bat Challenge yesterday; we'll take care of that today, too.

SCIENCE!

A special note for those attempting this at home, today's workout was exceptionally difficult for me.  (But, admittedly, I am in horrible shape.)  Also, you'll need something you can use as a pull-up bar for one of the exercises.  Don't worry, you'll know which one.

Today's Bat Workout:

2 Rounds: 1:30 Seconds Each Exercise(Sets of 2)

1a. Crab Crawl

1b. Jump Lunges

30 Second Rest
2a. Bear Crawl

2b. Ski Jumps
30 Second Rest
3a. Plank Jumps
3b. 180° Squat Hops
30 Second Rest

2 Rounds; 40 Seconds Each 

4a. Scissor Kicks on a Pull-up Bar (See? Told you.)
10 Second Rest

4b. High Hops
10 Second Rest
4c. Squat Thrusts
10 Second Rest
4d. Cross Punch x 2, Upper Cut x 2, and Front Kick x 2
10 Second Rest

2 Rounds, 20 Seconds Each (No Rest in Between)

5a. Boat Holds
5b. Body Rocks

No Finisher today!

Why not?

Bat Challenge Results (1/29/14):

Push-up Goal: 60

Prisoner Squat Goal: 70

Push-ups Completed in 60s: 30 (50%)

Prisoner Squats Completed in 60s: 33 (47%)

Rating: Average (42% to 62%)

     GREEN ARROW

Being On TV Doesn't Make
You Any Cooler!

I just can't quit you, Green Arrow!  Okay, have an outstanding day! Be the Bat!

Day 5: "Running Out Of Bat Themed Titles, But Not Out Of Steam"

Hey, Batloggers! (Yes!  That's a keeper! :D)  I'm not gonna sugar coat it, team.  Today has been a real drag.  Not only was I paid a surprise visit by Lord Montezuma, a class A villain of enviable tenacity, but I also began the detox program that was mentioned in previous posts.

As  I general rule, doggy diarrhea is HILARIOUS.
Anyway, you can buy this shirt on some site called zazzle.




  

I'll discuss the detox program in a separate post, by the way. (Spoiler: It is BLOODY horrible!  I just want to eat something with a face on it!)  Anyway, my epic struggle left me weak to the point of delirium, but I still managed to complete today's workout.

My fevered dreams were delicious and featured
loads of unfolded laundry to distract me. Thanks brain!

So, without further ado, here it is:

Today's Bat Workout:

3 Rounds; 30 Seconds Each

1a. Sprint to High Knees

1b. Deadman Bicycles

1c. Cross Body Mountain Climbers

1d. Ladder Heisman(s)

2 Rounds; 30 Times Each 

2a. High Knees

2b. Star Jumps
2c. Jump Rope
2d. Punches

Tabata (20 Seconds on, 10 Seconds Off) 5 Times Through

3a. Alternating Toe Touches
3b. Planks

Finisher Every Minute on the Minute (5 Minutes)

1.Squat Thrust to Tuck Jump (Goal: 8 to 10 Times/min)

Okay, team!  Keep up the good work!  Be the Bat!

"Battrition 2": "Sabian Que Batman Tomaba Mate?!?" or "The Bat Loves Caffiene, If You Know What I Mean!"

Well, that didn't take long!  Did you guys know Batman has had Yerba Mate before?  Way to make the list, South America!  For those of you have not tried mate, I hope the panel below is reason enough to give the stuff a shot.  A word of caution, the stuff is bitter as all hell, but it is energizing and seems like a natural fit for our hero.  (Don't forget about our friend coffee, though.  He's a keeper.)

And bring me one of those saucy Argentinian broads, while you are at it!

 Okay then, off to make some mate!  Be the Bat!

"Battrition": Is It A Portmanteau of Bat and Nutrition or Bat and Attrition? You decide!

As I may have mentioned before, I'm too lazy to actually re-read my previous posts and verify it, one of the topics I'd like talk about here is nutrition.  While I will be posting my meals and such to this blog, as a matter of personal curiosity, I'd also like to determine if there are any comic books that make mention of what Batman eats.  Now to accomplish this, I will be enlisting the aid of many members of the Bat-family.  (And also the whole of reddit.^_-)  Thus far, I've come across many sites listing what Batman would eat, but have not found a whole lot of reference to comic books citing what he does eat. (It also seems there is a reasonably large subset of humanity that suggests he eats justice - which is outstanding.)

When it comes to nutrition, money is no object.

Long story short, while I was able to dig up a number of sources that show him eating something or reference Alfred preparing a meal, I didn't really come across any particular mention of a general diet he adhered to.  I did, however, get turned on to a reference made on a website called Evil Geeks.com.

Not only did this article prove that my noble endeavor to be the bat is shared by nerds across the interwebs, but it also provided a printed record of a purported Bat Diet.  I am going to include the images they so graciously published here, but please give them some love for tracking the information down.

(Also, here is a link to the source material, in case you feel like dropping some cash on it - Batman: The World of the Dark Knight.)

That seems doable, right? :D

This same source also provides a workout schedule.

Er, this seems less doable...

There you have it! If anyone out there comes across something else, please let me know! If it's good info and I use it, I'll perform an embarrassing g-rated exercise of your choice!  Probably.

Also, for your reading enjoyment, here is a list of some Batman issues that reference meals being had by either Team Batman or Batman himself.  (Special thanks to our resident Oracle for tracking these down!)

 Batman:

126-Saw Kathy to dinner 

157-He held a dinner party

211-Attended an awards dinner

215-Attended an honors dinner

270-Attended dinner hosted by Gotham City Civic Committee

313-Dinner date with Selina Kyle

446-Political dinner

495-Wayne Foundation dinner

523-Hosts a dinner party for 3 political candidates

545-Lunch date with Vesper Fairchild

675-Dinner with Jezebel Jet

Dark Knight:

Vol. 2 Issue 2 - Dinner with Jaina Hudson

Vol.2 Issue 15 - Coffee!

Some Links:

 http://batman.wikia.com/wiki/Batman_Gotham_Adventures_20

 http://batman.wikia.com/wiki/Detective_Comics_Issue_661

 http://batman.wikia.com/wiki/Red_Hood_and_The_Outlaws_(Volume_1)_Issue_8

Okay, well, see you a little later!  I still have to post a little something about the upcoming Bat-detox, so stay tuned and continue to BE THE BAT!

Day 4: "Batman Returns": Confessions of a Dark Knight

Hey, world, it's been a few days!  How's everyone doing? ::deafening silence::

Awesome!

Anyway, as a true testament to my fattitude and not my battitude, I took the last couple of days off from working out. It was glorious!

I regret nothing!

To be fair, I plan to take two days a week off from Bat-training as a standard practice.  (I will use that time to pursue other interests and may or may not blog as a consequence; I know you are all crushed by this news.^_-)  But, enough about that.  I am back on it and that means another workout to post!

Today's Bat Workout:

2 Rounds; 45 Seconds Each

1a. Squat Thrust Clean and Press

1b. Romanian Dead Lifts

1c. Ice Skaters

2 Rounds; 45 Seconds Each

2a. Alternating Reverse Lunges w/Rotational Leg Drives

2b. Weighted T-Plank Push-ups (20 lb. Dumbbells)
2c. Belt Kicks

2 Rounds; 45 Seconds Each

2a. Kettle Bell Swings (45 lbs.)

2b. Inchworms
2c. Belt Kicks

Finisher 30 Seconds Each

1.Heisman(s)

2. Wacky Jacks (These have "Joker" written all over them...)
3. High Knees
4. Butt Kickers
5. Jump Rope
6. Cross Crawl

And there you have it.  Be the Bat and keep checking in for new and exciting news*!


*Depending on your level of exposure to excitement, this may or may not be true.

The Sixty-eight...

I've decided to make a very conscious effort to start using the stairs whenever practicality and decorum allow it.  I know it may sound like a whole lot of nothing to you all, but bear in mind that the stairwell in my apartment is an implement of torture so fiendish it would feel right at home in 15th century Spain.

Hey, now that you mention, I kinda see it...

There are 68 steps between the ground floor and my final destination.  They are the most vile 68 steps of my day.  That's all I have to say about that.

Stair well?  More like stair HELL, amirite?

Thanks for dropping by!  Be the Bat!

Day 3: "Uphill Bat-tle": It Hurts Way Too Much To Come Up With A Decent Pun

Hello, internet, how are you?

Today's workout wasn't quite as painful yesterday's, but my decidedly untrained body is feeling like Tim Robbins in a record store.  (Click on the link if that makes no sense to you.)

I think this picture really captures my sense of quiet desperation.  What do you think?

That ass tho'!

Today's Bat Workout:

2 Rounds; 45 Seconds Each

1a. Push-Up (Opposing Arm & Leg At Top)

1b. Broad Jump Windmill

1c. Reverse Lunge to Knee Raise

1d. Alternating Foot Jump Rope*

*The jump rope is imaginary, but no less vicious.

2 Rounds; 60 Seconds Each

2a. 30 Second Squat Hold/30 Second Squat Jump

2b. 30 Second Boat Holds/30 Second Core Rocks
2c. 15 Second Right Leg Cross Crawl Hold, 15 Second Left Leg Cross Crawl Hold/30 Heisman Run
2d. Plank to Superman (Bah) to T-Plank

Finisher 6 Rounds (20 Seconds On to 10 Seconds Rest)

1.Dashing in Place

2.Boxing Burpees

And there you have it.  I'm going to meditate and cry myself to sleep.  See you all tomorrow and, remember, be the bat and not the guano!

Day 2: "Breaking Bat": The Facility With Which I Create TV Puns Is Directly Proportional To My Level of Inactivity

Brave readers, today saw my first session at Synergize Fitness since the creation of this blog.  I don't think that I will make it a habit to preface my workouts with this much gravitas but now, more than ever, I must confess that I feel the weight of the task that lies before me.  I performed miserably today.  I was sluggish and weak.  There was more life to be found in a cemetery.  Yet, rather than consider this a bitter failure, I will take this experience and use it as a solemn reminder of how much room I have to improve.  If you are joining me on this journey of transformation, I urge you to stick to it.  Do not give up.  Truly, if there is anything salient about Batman's character, it is his indomitable will!

A Word About My Workouts:

As I mentioned before, the core of my workout routine will occur under the tutelage of the trained professionals at Synergize Fitness.  I would be lying to you if I told you that I was entirely certain about the methods used to develop these infernal workouts but, as I already dread them, I am going to assume they are effective.  

In general, a workout session consists of warm-up routine that is changed on a semi-annual basis (or so I believe) and is then followed by a series of soul crushing exercises that make up the bulk of the session. These exercises are changed daily, being either rotated and regrouped or replaced entirely by new exercises. Finally, acting as the sinister final slice of this evil sandwich, is what the team aptly refers to as a "finisher".

Pictured Above, Just Another Day At The Gym

That said, having obtained permission to do so, I will be posting my workouts. 

Eventually, it is my hope to include images of the more esoteric exercises just to make it easier to follow along at home.  (It is unlikely, however, that I will posting pictures of a what a push-up looks like.  If you are genuinely uncertain about something like that, please feel free to contact me privately and I will do my best to help.) 

Today's Bat Workout:

3 Rounds; 8 Reps Each

1a. Weight Lunges (35lb Dumbbells Each Arm)

1b. Bent Over Rows (35lb Dumbbells Each Arm)

1c. Squat Press (35lb Dumbbells Each Arm)

1d. Diamond Push-ups (Modified)

3 Rounds; 10 Reps Each

2a. I's, Y's and T's (8lb Dumbbells Each Arm)

2b Squat Thrusts

Obstacle Course Finish (3 Rounds)

1. Ladder Heismans

2. Hurdle Hops

3. Low Shuffles

4. Star Jumps (5)

5. Cross-body Mountain Climbers 

A Word About Bat Challenges:

Prompted by an on-going personal challenge that I am participating in, I will be sharing the number of push-ups and squats that I can perform in a 60 second interval. (To be clear, 60 seconds will be allotted for each exercise.)

I will perform this challenge every Tuesday, starting with today, and reporting my progress.  Also, I will rate my performance using a hero rating system that as described in a separate post. (Read about it here.)

Bat Challenge Results (1/21/14):

Push-up Goal: 60

Prisoner Squat Goal: 70

Push-ups Completed in 60s: 28 (46%)

Prisoner Squats Completed in 60s: 34 (48%)

Rating Level:  Average (42% to 62%)

     GREEN ARROW

Being On TV Doesn't Make
You Any Cooler!

                  

There you have it.  Please stop by a little later and, as always, BE THE BAT! (I like this closing better than my last one.  What do you think?)

"Bategories": Tracking Your Progress the DC Way! (Unrelated To Electricity)

As I was driving into work and, ostensibly, entirely aware of my surroundings, it occurred to me that it might be a good idea to develop some sort of metric to gauge my accomplishments. (And yours, too! I'm not selfish about it!)

To that end, I have created a rating system based on percentages as they relate to a given goal.  That is to say, the value achieved during some activity (i.e. the number of jumping jacks performed in a given time period) divided by some predetermined total value. (i.e. the total number of jumping jacks that should have been performed in a given time period)

Example:

Bat Challenge: Perform 100 Jumping Jacks in a 60 second period

Total Jumping Jacks Performed: 20
Jumping Jack Goal: 100

20/100 = .2 = 20%
Rating: Not So Good, Muchaco/a!

                           VIBE

This Guy is About As Awesome As He Looks

In the event that there are multiple goals,  the individual percentage ratings will be added and then averaged out for a final, aggregate rating.


Example:

Bat Challenge: Perform 100 Jumping Jacks and 30 Squats in a 60 second period

Total Jumping Jacks Performed: 20
Jumping Jack Goal: 100

20/100 = .2 = 20%

Total Squats Performed: 25
Total Squat Goal: 30
                _
25/30 = .83 = 83%


83% + 20% = 103%
103%/2 = 51.5(We Round Down) = 51%

Rating: Average (42% to 62%)

     GREEN ARROW

Being On TV Doesn't Make
You Any Cooler!

It also occurred to me that, in some cases, I may desire to rate my performance subjectively as having ranged anywhere from poor to excellent. (Or, perhaps, even perfect! Bahaha!)  For those instances, I have included a descriptor that can be associated with the percentages. (See below)






The Rating Scale:

Rating: Very Poor (0% to 20%)


            VIBE

Not So Good Muchacho/a.

Rating: Poor (21% to 41%)

   
    BOOSTER GOLD

Hey, At Least You're Not Vibe.

Rating: Average (42% to 62%)

     GREEN ARROW

Being On TV Doesn't Make
You Any Cooler!

Rating: Good (63% to 83%)

         GREEN LANTERN

You Deserved A Better Movie!

Rating: Very Good 84% to 94%

                THE  FLASH

You're On The Fast Track To Excellence!

Rating: Excellent (95% to 99%)

           NIGHTWING

       You're Your Own Hero!

Rating: Perfect (100%+)

          THE BATMAN

You Are the Night!

So, what do you think?  Any suggestions?

Day 1: "We Are All Batman": Breathing Is A Bigger Deal Than You Probably Think It Is

So, as promised, I tried the Four Square Meditation Method.    This was actually much harder than I'd assumed it would be.  (Before you get all "judgey", I challenge you to give this thing a shot.  Holding your breath for four seconds is deceptively simple,* if you aren't prepared for it.)   Aside from the unexpected challenge associated with the controlled breathing, I found myself unable to truly clear all distraction from my mind.   It's not particularly surprising as I assumed that voiding** your mind of all its chatter was likely the hardest part and the greatest goal of any meditation regiment.  All in all, I can see where this might really help a person detach from the hustle and bustle of every day life. (Some of you are more bustly than others, so don't give up if you find this more challenging than my post would lead you to believe.) As of now, I feel it is entirely too soon to either endorse or denounce the whole thing, but I will keep you posted.

Also, I did have a number of thoughts about what else to add to the blog. One of the key items I would like to focus on is nutrition.  To that end, I will be researching what the Batman eats and will incorporate as much of that as is reasonable into my own diet.  I don't suspect I will be burning the kind of calories that our intrepid Dark Knight does so, assuming I am able to find any information on his diet to begin with, expect to see a comparatively lower caloric intake for the moment.

On that note, I will also be performing a two week long detox starting next week.  I will be posting more about that as we near the weekend; it should give you enough time to get the ingredients you need, should you decide to join me.  (It's probably going to be rough, but I knew the road to Batman-ness was not going to be easy!)

Is he holding his breath?  I don' t know.  The point is, if Aquaman can do it, so can you.

All right, thanks for dropping by.  See you soon!***



*Deceptively simple, in this case, meaning harder than it looks!
**The term "voiding" was probably a poor choice here, but I'm sticking with it.  Also, I imagined all my readership taking a collective poop.  I feel closer to you than I ever have.****
***I won't actually see you soon, but you know what I meant.
****Sorry, the pooping imagery was unnecessary.  Also, I suspect I don't have a readership, yet.

Day 1: "We Are All Batman": Becoming One with Your Inner Bat

So today is kind of an odd day in that it is a US national holiday which, by a most joyful consequence, means I have the day off from work. This affords me the luxury of a little research time and gives me the opportunity to look into some of what I consider to be the ancillary aspects of the physical regiment I will be adopting during the course of this project.  Specifically, I've decided to look into meditation.  Now, full disclosure, I have never really been much into meditation in a professional sense.  To a large extent, I have been skeptical as to all the purported benefits of meditation and even more so of the zealotry exhibited by some of its practitioners. Still, if I am going to try and do this thing, I will endeavor to make the Bat-Regiment as authentic as possible.

So, the next question you might be asking is, "Does Batman Meditate?"  To answer that, I've turned to a number of comics and DC approved media.  I may perform a deeper study of this as the blog matures, but even a cursory examination of my own private collection of comics and movies does, in fact, reveal several instances where it appears Batman engages in meditation on some level.

Some of the Reference Items I Used Include:

1.) Batman Gotham Knight: Episode 5 - Working Through the Pain 
2.) Detective Comics Vol.2 Issue#0
3.) The Lost Yak

Now, I don't think I'm ready to invest heavily in this practice just yet, but I'm certainly willing to ease my way into it. To begin, I will be adopting a very straight forward and practical technique that was given to me by one of the co-owners of the boot camp I have joined, Synergize Fitness. (I will go into more detail about this amazing group of people in future posts.  They will also be providing me with the workouts that I will be posting on this site.)  It is a very straight forward meditation practice that I think just about anyone can work in to their day.

The Four-Square Meditation Technique:

Step 1: Find a quiet space you can call your own, a personal Batcave, if you will.  Although you are free to vary it as you'd like, I will begin by dedicating four minutes in the morning and four minutes at night to meditation in this fashion.  As per instructions I have received, my ultimate goal will be work in about half an hour at each interval as part of my daily routine.

Step 2: Adopt a posture that is aligned and comfortable at the same time.

Step 3: Once you are ready, begin by either dimming out the lights in your cave or closing your eyes altogether.  Take  in a deep breath for four seconds.  Try your very best to clear your mind of all distraction as you do this.  You are now entering your mediation phase.

Step 4: Hold your breath for 4 seconds.  Continue to work out all distraction from your mind.

Step 5: Exhale for 4 seconds.

Step 6: Inhale for 4 seconds.

Step 7: Hold your breath for 4 seconds.

Step 8: Repeat this process for the duration of your meditation.  (In my case, for 4 minutes.  I will be increasing this time by two minutes every week until I achieve my 30 minute goal.)

I will be trying this starting tonight and giving you brave readers the skinny on how it goes.  Stay tuned for additional posts and, as always, thanks for joining me!

Vital Statistics: A Comparison, but Not an Indictment

So why start this blog?  As I mentioned in my inaugural post, the basic premise of this site is to capture my journey from my current state to some ideal I consider to be acceptable.  For the purposes of my own entertainment, and yours too I hope, I've decided that I will endeavor to achieve the lofty heights of DC Comics' very own Batman.  Why Batman you ask?  Well, aside from my own preternatural fascination with the character, a condition shared by many, if the internet is any indication, I find there is a lot of merit to the ideals laid out by Bob Kane's iconic hero. While some might argue that being devoid of super abilities makes becoming Batman a more attainable goal, I tend to find that a fairly humorous conceit.  What I will grant you, however, is that the character embodies the zenith of human ability. (Psychological trauma notwithstanding...)  As a master detective, he has not only attained a physique that permits him to trounce foes that regularly tangle with the likes of his super powered contemporaries, he has also forged his mind into a tool that is sharper and more versatile than any gadget in his arsenal.  (Yet, if I were to give you a short answer on why I'm trying to be become "like Batman", it'd be because it's a fun idea for me.)  To that end, I plan not only to engage in activities that will train my body, but also to further my education on as many levels as I can squeeze in.  (I do have a day job, you know? ^_-)

                                                     (Image taken from Lookhuman.com)

So, while right now I have a whole jumble of ideas and features that I would like to add to this blog, first thing's first; I need some metrics.  Below, I will be posting Batman's vital statistics as captured by the Super Hero Database. (http://www.superherodb.com)  I'm actually not certain that the website is officially endorsed by DC, but darn if I care.  (It does fall in line with many of the sources I found on-line so we'll go with it for now.)

Name: The Batman

Secret Identity: Bruce Wayne

Height: 6'2"

Weight: 210 lbs.

Occupation: Crime Fighter/Billionaire Playboy and Industrialist

Measurement List:

1.) Upper Arm (R and L)

2.) Fore Arm (R and L)

3.) Chest

4.) Thigh (R and L)

5.) Calf (R and L)

6.) Waist

7.) Shoulder

(Additional Information to be Added as Sources Located)

(I do not own this image or this character, as many of you may have already figured out.)

Name: The Bruno

Secret Identity: It's a Secret!

Height: 6'1" (Hey, almost!)

Weight: 278 lbs. (Jeez...)

Occupation: Engineer

Measurement List:

1.) Upper Arm (R and L)

2.) Fore Arm (R and L)

3.) Chest

4.) Thigh (R and L)

5.) Calf (R and L)

6.) Waist

7.) Shoulder

(Additional Information as Soon as I Can Get to It)

(I totally own this image.  Well, I suppose the internet owns it now, too.)

And so there you have it. :) Tomorrow I will begin to record my journey and flesh out the site.  Hopefully, things go well for me, heroes - otherwise this embarrassing picture will have been for naught!

Join us next time, same Bat Page, same Bat erm, domain!  I don't know...  I'll work on it.  

Year One: Wherein Your Humble Narrator Begins His Solemn Journey

Well, I highly suspect that no will be looking at this but, if you happened to stumble upon my little site, welcome.  There isn't a whole lot here right now, but this blog will aim to capture my journey from doughy engineer to fictitious crime fighter par excellence.  (Or as close of an approximation as my wallet and reality will allow.) And while this may come off as a little tongue-in-cheek, I certainly do hope to bring you all along as I aspire to improve myself and try inspire others to do the same. So, again, thank you for dropping by; I hope to see you all again soon.

BLOG UNDER CONSTRUCTION!